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"Welcome to the Cosmic Faerie. I am Tristram Hillage, the proprietor. May I help you?"

Tristram Hillage is the proprietor of The Cosmic Faerie and a poet.


George Stobbart encounters Tristram at the Cosmic Faerie. He shows the postcard to Tristram and asks about Bruno. Tristram says that the postcard is from his shop but claims that he never meet Bruno. When George hears a loud noise from upstairs, he suspects Tristram that he hides something. He tries to climb upstairs but Tristram refuses. George checks some of the items from the shop until he discovers a book entitled Enchanted Avalon - Lays of Mystical Age. George reads some of the poems and thinks that Tristram is a good poet. Tristram says that he writes poetry at his spare time and has trouble finding a publisher. George suggests to show the book to Eamon O'Mara to get more publicity.

Upon showing Tristram's book to Eamon, the reporter is angry. He tells George that Tristram plagiarized many Irish poems. The reporter rushes to the Cosmic Faerie for a chat. With Eamon arguing with Tristram, George uses the situation as an opportunity to climb upstairs. At the upstairs, George finds a woman named Melissa who turns out to be Colonel Butley's missing daughter instead of Bruno. Melissa, explains that she met Tristram at the Glastonbury Festival. She admires Tristram from being a good poet and decides to stay with him. In reality, Melissa knows more about poetry than Tristam and took a thesis in Irish poetry in Cambridge University.

After Eamon is leaves, George decides to blackmail Tristram in exchange of Bruno's whereabouts. He warns Tristram that Melissa's father will come after him until Tristram decides to cooperate. Tristram tells George that Bruno leaves the town with the belongings except his pants. Turns out that said pants George receives is a boxer shorts.

Tristram is last heard at the shop being beaten by Eamon and Colonel Butley, while Melissa tries to stop the fight.


Tristram is a Medieval English form of "Tristran". It originates from the Welsh name Drustan. The spelling was altered by association with Latin tristis meaning "sad". His name happens to be from an Arthurian legend, as evidence by Eamon, who explains that Tristram takes Isolde, who was to be the bride of King Mark of Cornwall.